How to be pessimistic, and yet happy?

Frequently when I heard about motivational seminars, the contents were about how to be optimistic, positive thinking towards life and future. Most of the motivational speakers would say that the optimistic way of life will make you successful and happy. But is it true?

I think about the answer many times. Can I be happier if I have an optimistic way to see life and future? From my experiences, when I tried to be optimistic, full of hope and expectation, many times I got disappointed. The more I expect, the more I disappointed. It is not true that if I am positive towards life, then life will be positive too. Many times, the opposites happen. Although I am very positive, yet optimistic, life doesn’t work as I want.

Instead, I feel happier when I see life in a pessimistic way. Pessimistic people never expect for anything. They know so well that the world contains evil, pain, and sufferings. They don’t hide from all of this reality. They face it, not in a happy way, but also not too sad. They just accept it as the reality in life. A pessimist doesn’t expect or hope for something good, but they always on guard for something bad. They are always suspicious, and that makes them full of anticipation in every condition.

People hate pessimistic people because they think that the pessimists are not happy with themselves. On the contrary, I see the pessimist people happier than the optimistic people. Pessimist people never doing anything out of their plan. Pessimists always have on guard. Pessimists never disappointed because they never expect. But after all, pessimistic people know so well that human is not born to be happy. So, it’s okay not to be happy. Like what Schopenhauer, a pessimist philosopher said: “There’s one big mistake in a world, to think that we are born for happiness.”

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Sweet Punishment

We know that God hates sins, and He is also willing to punish sins. It is because He is holy, righteous and He is the Source of all goodness. We know so well that God has punished sins in many ways. But, have you ever think that in that punishment itself, God, who is the Source of goodness, has always bring good in that punishment? I think God would never act contradicts from His nature. Even when He punishes sins, He will always bring good from that punishment.

I have contemplated some events in the Bible which indicate that God punishment is always “a sweet punishment.” First, I see when Adam and Eve fall into sin. God punished them both. Adam, as a representation of men, must work hard in the punished land. As for women, they must feel the pain from giving birth to their child. At first, this punishment seems to be a very painful punishment. And yes, it’s truly painful. But on the other side, this punishment brings good if we see that from this era. We can see that in this modern times, hard work of the men has made this world developed in a positive way. I know that many of their work contains sins, of course, because we are all sinners. But we cannot escape from the amazement of their hard work. And women too, from their pain in giving birth, we know the love and sacrifice the mother gave to their children. If giving birth was not this hard, maybe the children and the mothers are not bound in love like they are now, knowing the mothers have sacrificed her life to giving birth to them.

Secondly, I will take the example from God’s punishment to Babel tower’s workers. God punished them because they want to be God for themselves, their arrogance made God punish them. The punishment was very awful, God scattered them and made them didn’t understand the language of one another. In the Bible, we’ve been told that in the first, every human spoke in one language. But this punishment made limitation to their understanding about language. In short, this punishment made many differences in human’s language. At a glance, this punishment seems awful and terrible. But I see it as sweet punishment too. Can you imagine the world with one language? Maybe it will be very easy to communicate each other. But it will limit the beauty of the creation: the difference. Once, I came to a church event where they gathered the Sunday School children to dressed up in every nations and tribe, and then they sang a song in many languages, according to their looks. I felt so amazed that time. It was a very beautiful show. We can see the difference in the language, tribe, color of skin, etc. not as a punishment, but as the beauty in diversity.

The conclusion is, I want to express my gratitude to God who never refuted His own nature, but always acts as God who is good, just, and beautiful. As we know His nature, we know that His punishment to our world was never separated with His beauty and His will to restore. The greatest proof I can give you is that He came to the world in Jesus Christ so that He can restore us, the sinners. His anger, His wrath, and His punishment are never alone. It will always go together with His goodness, forgiveness, and restoration.

In the end, I ask you to think and contemplate about the end of the days. Can a God like what we describe before, punish us forever in hell? Or hell will be, as well as the other punishment, “a sweet punishment”? But how can we see and feel that sweetness from never ending awful, hurtful punishment? What I know and believe is God will never punish us without a will to restore us.

My View on Morality

What is morality? Maybe we often think morality is only about the good or bad deed, or decision we make in everyday life. But more than that, morality is related to our worldview, our way of thinking and how we see the world. I can say that our morality is based on our worldview. For an example, a communist worldview will see capitalism as a bad thing, vice versa. Religious worldview will see everything contrast to their belief system as bad things. So, what I want to say is morality is very depended on our worldview.

How is our view of morality built, in relation with our worldview? First, it depends on what our parents told us when we’re still a child. If our parents were smoking, we rarely see that smoking is a bad thing, even we don’t do that because of health reason. If our parents were such religious people, we, too, try to obey what our religion tells us to do. Our parents were the first moral guides for us, and they had an important role in building our worldview.

Second, it depends on our society, our friends, school, or our hobbies. It also depends on where we stay. For example, if we stay in Indonesia, we will obey government’s rule. Furthermore, Indonesia is a religious country, where we can find informal religious rules taken firmly by the society. For example, when the LGBT people claimed their rights, the society refused them because LGBT is not right according to their belief system.

Thirdly, our own religion or belief. Everybody has their own belief. Even an atheist must have his/her own belief – there is no God. This religion or belief is very foundational to our worldview because we don’t just think about it, we believe it. Although the worldview is wrong to other people, we still believe that it’s the truth. For example, the radicals killed themselves, believed that they would have a very great reward from God in heaven. For many of us, it sounds ridiculous, but for the radicals, it is the truth, they believe this as a fact.

We see that this world contains so many people who have various worldviews. I said earlier that our morality depends on our worldview. So, does it mean that no universal moral guides for us? Are the moral views always relative, not universal? I believe that the question itself based on a worldview called relativism. Relativism sees the world as relative, including morality. They don’t believe in one, universal moral guide. But we will back to our first conclusion: A belief that universal moral guide doesn’t exist based on a worldview called relativism.

While there are various worldviews around the world, we must believe that there is something we can accept as GOOD and BAD universally. It means all people will agree that this is GOOD or BAD. Why is it bad? Because you don’t want it to happen to you. We can’t trust relativism about that. For example, do you want to be killed without reason? Do you want your mother, sister, or wife raped and killed by the terrorists? The answer is NO. For every normal people, the answer is exactly NO. Even if you ask this question to the killer himself, or to the rapist himself, they’ll probably answer no. The conclusion is, there is, in fact, a universal good and bad for all people. But besides that, there are also many cases which we can’t uniformly decide if it is good or bad. Like the case of euthanasia, war, et cetera. The decisions may be different to every person. It called the “moral dilemma.” We live in the world full of dilemma, and almost every day we must make decisions. We must consider that we live in the world which not just black and white, it is the world full of dilemma. It must make us wiser. We can’t just judge other people because we don’t walk in their shoes! We, too, can’t ignore our decision in everyday life. We must always think about the consequences, for yourself as well as for the others too. It makes us think carefully about our life, not because we are too afraid of punishment and hungry for reward (like children always think about morality), but to live well in this world, happy and content.

 

 

My Blog Has Been Removed by Google! :(

My Blog Has Been Removed by Google! :(

Pertama-tama saya ingin mengungkapkan dukacita yang mendalam atas meninggalnya blog-blog saya yang telah saya tulis sejak saya masih ada di bangku kuliah S1. #RIPmyBlog. Dan terimakasih buat Google yang sudah memusnahkan karya anak bangsa, yang isinya sekedar remeh temeh tapi dianggap menyalahi tata krama Policy Google yang terhormat.

Oleh sebab dukacita yang mendalam, saya memutuskan untuk migrasi dari Blogspot ke WordPress ini, berharap tulisan-tulisan saya di sini tidak lagi dianggap tabu dan dinon-aktifkan secara tak senonoh 😦

Bagaimanapun, masa lalu adalah masa lalu. Walaupun sedih, nasi telah menjadi nasi uduk. Saya memutuskan untuk membuka lembaran baru, dengan menulis di blog baru ini. Bagus juga sih, blog ini sebagai tanda kelahiran diriku yang baru, yang semakin menua, jelas tulisan-tulisanku di blog ini akan berbeda jauh dengan tulisan-tulisan anak bawang beberapa tahun lalu #akuanakbawang. Tulisanku pasti makin gak jelas. Ahahaha… Nope, really. Gue udah dewasa. Asli. Beneran. #makingakjelas

Okehh, gini deh, mendingan di awal postingan baru ini aku memperkenalkan diri dulu. Siapa tahu ada yang belum kenal #yaiyalahemangguesiapa. Namaku Jessica Novia Layantara. Tahun kelahiranku 1988. Berarti saat aku menulis ini, aku sudah ada di penghujung usia 20-an. Yup, udah 29 tahun! Pekerjaan, saat ini aku adalah seorang pendidik di sebuah universitas swasta. Ini tahun keduaku dikontrak di sono. Ya doakan aja ya segera jadi karyawan tetap hihihi. Di sana ngapain? Ya ngajar lah, masa jualan sate #ehmjayusah. Yup, aku ngajar mata kuliah dasar umum yang berhubungan dengan moralitas dan agama. Jadi anda pasti bisa membayangkan betapa bermoralnya saia 😀

Yah, berhubung sekarang aku bekerja sebagai pengajar, aku memutuskan bahwa blog ku saat ini akan kupenuhi dengan pengalaman-pengalamanku sebagai seorang pengajar. Selain itu, aku juga akan bercerita soal kehidupan #ceileh. Yah biar kelihatan bijak dikit gitu loh… Kalo agama, masih perlu diomongin nggak ya? Hehehe, boleh lah ya sekali-sekali. Tapi jangan keseringan. Agama itu katanya bak “kutang,” yang harus dipakai tiap hari tapi gak harus ditunjukkin kemana-mana hi hi hi… Tapi boleh lah ya aku share dikit-dikit ilmuku #arogandikit. Hehehe…

Oh ya, hampir lupa. Aku ini juga merupakan seorang isteri dari seorang suami #yaiyalahudah29gitu. Dan aku seorang ibu dari seekor anjing. Yup, aku belum memiliki anak, tetapi gak masalah karena aku sudah menerima kenyataan bahwa yang dititipkan padaku hanyalah seekor anjing #hiks. Nggak apa-apa juga sih. Jadi di blog ini aku juga akan bercerita tentang kehidupan sebagai isteri, dikit-dikit lah bagi pengalaman buat yang masih jomblo #ehem.

Kurasa segitu dulu perkenalannya. Semoga blog ini bisa berjalan dan sama bagusnya dengan yang sudah RIP. Please follow my blog to know the newest update, okay? See ya when I see ya!